Archiveofbadideas

This is the Archive of Bad Ideas (ABI). Add legitimate and actually good yet horrible ideas here, if you have been approved to do so.

Idea	Origin	Explanation
Melt Plastic Ninjas Via Candle	Friend of !a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	Melt cheap plastic ninjas with a candle, because it's apparently funny.
Titanium Nut Squeezer	User:Isaac	A device designed to crush deez nuts.
Consume Astatine-213	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	You would instantaneously explode in a radioactive fireball.
Stick o ram Candy Bar	Sidney	REFRESHING THERMAL PASTE FLAVOR!
Construct the KLS - 26 Komodo and send the entire mars colony in one launch	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	The vehicle is 489m tall, weighs 109 kilotons with payload, outputs 1.5 GN of thrust, maximum payload capacity 26 kilotons. We have the technology. It's purely an engineering problem.
Cut down every tree on Earth at exactly the same time	Friend of %ǀɟœ⟡ǀ%ə!œʔǂ!&ǂ	Houston, we have many problems.
Build a fleet of giant robotic human-eating hummingbirds	Friend of %ǀɟœ⟡ǀ%ə!œʔǂ!&ǂ	JOE BIDOME
Burn ants with a magnifying glass	Some kid a long time ago	Just focus the sun with a magnifying glass, find your local anthill, and pop some ants.
Construct a USB drive with just a giant capacitor inside to fry computers	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	Build or buy one of these things, and use it to exclusively fry macs.
Make smores on a blowtorch	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	Get a blowtorch, smores ingredients, and make smores with blowtorch.
Overwrite all the computers at school to boot to Doom (1993) and only play that, not being able to do anything else	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	Overwrite and jailbreak mac computers with an automatic deploying malware USB drive.
Pitch a baseball at 90% the speed of light	Randall Munroe	Would basically be a non-radioactive nuke going off.
Power a house using the radioactivity of bananas	Randall Munroe	You'd need so many that it would be infeasible.
Scuba dive in blood	Randall Munroe	Puking/Drowning Noises
Row a boat on liquid tungsten	Randall Munroe	<Player Name> was vaporized by the heat of liquid tungsten.
Vacum Decay Cleaner	!a3oYzmN4fGhm7rA4ob	Do not turn this thing on. EVER. Otherwise, say goodbye to the universe.
Consume supercritical water	User:Isaac	Don't. This is getting out of hand.
Try to exploit video game bugs in real life	User:%ǀɟœ⟡ǀ%ə!œʔǂ!&ǂ	It seems that your MLG water bucket didn't work out as planned.
Send every email in the entire world a zip bomb that only activates on macOS	User:%ǀɟœ⟡ǀ%ə!œʔǂ!&ǂ
Compress all plant matter on Earth into a black hole	Friend of %ǀɟœ⟡ǀ%ə!œʔǂ!&ǂ